from now on, this journal will be partially friends only... no, my life is not that controversial or horrible, i'm just that paranoid... ;) i'm still thinking about changing the security mode of my previous entries, but as of now, whatever's public will remain public. succeeding entries will be protected, friends only, or private. there may be public entries from time to time (but they'll probably be the boring, i-couldn't-care-less posts), when i feel like it... comments will not be screened, so feel free to post away! ;) add me as a friend if you want to, and i'll add you back. =)

i took this test on tickle... if you want to take it too, here's the link: tickle brain test

Geraldine Rose, you are Balanced-brained

That means you are able to draw on the strengths of both the right and left hemispheres of your brain, depending upon a given situation.

When you need to explain a complicated process to someone, or plan a detailed vacation, the left hemisphere of your brain, which is responsible for your ability to solve problems logically, might kick in. But if you were critiquing an art opening or coming up with an original way to file papers, the right side of your brain, which is responsible for noticing subtle details in things, might take over.

While many people have clearly dominant left- or right-brained tendencies, you are able to draw on skills from both hemispheres of your brain. This rare combination makes you a very creative and flexible thinker.

The down side to being balanced-brained is that you may sometimes feel paralyzed by indecision when the two hemispheres of your brain are competing to solve a problem in their own unique ways.

It's not just make believe
Kari Kimmell

I thought that I was too old to believe in fairytales,
but there's a letter for me waitin' when I check my mail.
I start a shakin' like a seven on the Richter scale
When you say you love me.
I look in the mirror and I'm not who I used to be at all
Its comin' clearer...

Chorus
I'm Cinderella at the ball,
I'm Alice growin' ten feet tall.
Its not just make believe...
Here comes the prince's kiss,
I'm positive the slipper fits.
Its not just make believe...

It started out like just another ordinary day,
Then suddenly my life is different in every way.
The sun is brighter and my happiness is here to say.
Its like I'm dreamin'
Thank you for showin' me that true love doesn't hurt when you fall
You got me glowin'...

Chorus
I'm Cinderella at the ball,
I'm Alice growin' ten feet tall.
Its not just make believe...
Here comes the prince's kiss,
I'm positive the slipper fits.
Its not just make believe...

Whenever, wherever, forever,
I'll be with you.
We haven't, its not just oh ooh

I look in the mirror and I'm not who I used to be at all
Its comin' clearer...

I'm Cinderella at the ball,
I'm Alice growin' ten feet tall.
Its not just make believe...
Its really happening,
I feel so good I gotta sing.
Its not just make believe...
I'm Ariel above the sea,
I'm Beauty dancing with the Beast.
Its not just make believe...
Here comes the prince's kiss,
I'm positive the slipper fits.
Its not just make believe.

oh, its not just make believe (not just make believe)
oh ooh,
its not just make believe

and, as usual, i still haven't changed...

Almost Perfect- INFP 20% Extraversion, 60% Intuition, 26% Thinking, 33% Judging

So, you want to make the world a better place? Too bad it's never gonna happen. Of all the types, you have to be one of the hardest to find fault in. You have a selfless and caring nature. You're a good listener and someone who wants to avoid conflict. You genuinely desire to do good. Of course, these all add up to an incredibly overpowered conscience which makes you feel guilty and responsible when anything goes wrong. Of course, it MUST be your fault EVERYTIME. Though you're constantly on a mission to find the truth, you have no use for hard facts and logic, which is a source of great confusion for those of us with brains. Despite this, in a losing argument, you're not above spouting off inaccurate fact after fact in an effort to protect your precious values. You're most probably a perfectionist, which in this case, is a bad thing. Any group work is destined to fail because of your incredibly high standards. Disregard what I said before. You're just easy to find fault in as everyone else! Luckily, you're generally very hard on yourself, meaning I don't need to waste my precious time insulting you. Instead, just find all your own faults and insult yourself. ***************** If you want to learn more about your personality type in a slightly less negative way, check out this. ***************** The other personality types are as follows... Loner - Introverted Sensing Feeling Perceiving Pushover - Introverted Sensing Feeling Judging Criminal - Introverted Sensing Thinking Perceiving Borefest - Introverted Sensing Thinking Judging Freak - Introverted iNtuitive Feeling Judging Loser - Introverted iNtuitive Thinking Perceiving Crackpot - Introverted iNtuitive Thinking Judging Clown - Extraverted Sensing Feeling Perceiving Sap - Extraverted Sensing Feeling Judging Commander - Extraverted Sensing Thinking Perceiving Do Gooder - Extraverted Sensing Thinking Judging Scumbag - Extraverted iNtuitive Feeling Perceiving Busybody - Extraverted iNtuitive Feeling Judging Prick - Extraverted iNtuitive Thinking Perceiving Dictator - Extraverted iNtuitive Thinking Judging

My test tracked 4 variables How you compared to other people your age and gender: You scored higher than 99% on Extraversion You scored higher than 99% on Intuition You scored higher than 99% on Thinking You scored higher than 99% on Judging

Link: The Brutally Honest Personality Test written by UltimateMaster on OkCupid Free Online Dating, home of the The Dating Persona Test

it's the fifth of december already...
just 21 more days to go... and it'll be my birthday... i'll be turning 20. i won't be a teen anymore.

and i can't help but feel... all mixed up inside.

as i was walking from talaba to zapote kalinisan on my way back here, i felt... a lot of things. it would probably be hard to understand, as i always seem to be contradicting myself. but i'm not. it's just that... i always feel so many things all at the same time. how could anyone possibly feel contentment and emptiness at the same time? eh, but i do. or maybe i just think i do? eeeek. see what i mean?

i'm always so torn between fighting and giving up, between aspiring for more and wanting contentment, between lashing out and keeping quiet... between striving for perpetual sunshine and wallowing in sorrow...

between fighting for my life and wanting to die at the same time. why fight? what is there for me if i keep on living? why surrender to the throes of death? what is there for me in the afterlife? does wanting to die automatically equate to being a coward? or just plain resignation? or the loss of hope? or something else?

*sigh*

there are times when i feel as if i've learned and grown so much... and there are times when i feel as if i'm exactly the same person i always were. but i know that there are lots of Geraldines inside of me, Geraldines i've grown to hate or love, to ignore or nurture. and there might be Geraldines inside of me that i have yet to discover. those that would, in time, hopefully show me what it is that i'm here for.

hopefully, i would be able to carve a niche in this world for myself... leave pieces of me behind.

and so fragile.

:(

i need hugs. anyone?

i would always remember the day i let a kitten die. it was there, lying on the side of the road, and i made no move to pick it up and move it to a safer place. it got run over by a car as i watched in silence. one by one, my tears started to fall. i could have done something. i could have moved, i could have kicked the kitten out of the way, i could have... i could have saved it from death. but i didn't. i spent the ride to school thinking about that kitten- and myself.

i honestly thought that i was different from other people. i thought i cared more than they did, that i understood more than they did, that i kept a mind more open than theirs. i thought i was more compassionate, more giving, more concerned. was i ever wrong. that day taught me that i'm just like everybody else, maybe even worse. i cried as people watched me inside the fx, and i wouldn't tell anyone as to why. the death of that innocent kitten shook me, because that kitten's demise could have well been prevented if i had only acted. it wasn't just that i let it die. my heart choked me then because it actually felt as if i was the one who killed it. i always refuse to think about it, because everytime i do, i always have to gather all the strength that's left in me to keep myself from bursting into tears.

but there's nothing i can do now, is there?

except to keep that from happening again.

i know what's happening. i'm here and i'm letting it happen. please, please, chance and fate, don't let it be too late for me to do something.

because i don't think i'd be able to forgive myself if i let you die.

haha. stolen from... eh, i forgot. -___-; some random journal out there.

Tell me in an anonymous post:
1. One secret.
2. One compliment.
3. One non-compliment.
4. One love note. It doesn't have to be for me.
5. Lyrics to a song.
6. And a hint to who you are.

AND

Ask me a question about any/all of the following:
- Friends
- Family
- Sex
- Music
- Religion/Spirituality
- Love
- Life
- LiveJournal (?)

Then, if you so choose, post this in your journal so people can have a chance to interrogate you!

if you're planning on doing something you haven't done before, something na kakalabanin yung mga bagay na dating prinsipyo mo, siguraduhin mo lang na pagkagising mo kinabukasan e mahaharap mo ang salamin, titingnan mo ang sarili mo ng diretso, ng walang pagkadiri at walang takot. you're going to have to be able to look yourself in the eye and not feel remorse. you're going to have to look in the mirror and see yourself as the reflection, and not a stranger staring back at you. if you can't do that, then don't push your limits.

i went out there, stepped way outside my safety zone, done a few things that are complete no-nos for me before... but i'm at peace with my soul. no regrets here, only newfound perspectives, deeper understanding, and more love for self. :)

yey... go me! ha.

Take the What kind of Mage Are You? quiz.






Take the What Type of Friend Are You? quiz.





Take the What Role-playing Stereotype Are You? quiz.

...i enjoy every minute of it.

it's hard to say no when you really mean yes, it's hard to close your eyes when you really want to see, it's hard to forget when you really can't... but the hardest is to go when you really want to stay.

bounce. bounce. bounce. bounce. bounce!


;)

You Should Be A Sagittarius

What's good about you: bold and adventure loving, life is one big party for you What's bad about you: you don't think before speaking - and you often regret it! In love: you're flirtatiously playful, but you never play games In friendship, you're: the one who keeps everyone laughing Your ideal job: fortune teller, philosopher, or athlete Your sense of fashion: your own mix of vintage and new pieces You like to pig out on: anything you haven't tried before

haha. i'm capricorn, but i've always thought that i was a cusp of sagittarius and capricorn. maybe i really am a cusp. earth and fire sign. nice. :)

yup. we reached two years. amazing. considering how unstable our relationship has been the past few months...

i wonder, for how long will we last?

will it still be us in the end?

i sure hope so.

Come on, Sarah. Lots of guys would want to go out with you. You're smart, you're funny. You're even kinda pretty when you're not wallowing in self-pity.
-Claire Cook, Must Love Dogs

[x] I have eaten more than 5 meals a day.
[x] I have read a lot of books. ~> i love books! i wish i had money to buy them, though...
[ ] I have been on some sort of varsity team.
[x] I have run more than 2 miles without stopping. ~> way back in grade school. that still counts, right?
[ ] I have been to Canada.
Total = 3

[ ] I have been to Europe.
[x] I have watched cartoons for hours. ~> yup. :)
[x] I have tripped UP the stairs.
[ ] I have fallen down an entire flight of stairs.
[ ] I have been snowboarding/skiing.
Total = 2

[x] I have played ping pong. ~> yup yup!! *reminiscing* *grin*
[x] I swam in the ocean.
[ ] I have been on a whale watch.
[x] I have seen fireworks.
Total = 3

[x] I have seen a shooting star. ~> *dreamy look*
[x] I have seen a meteor shower. ~> yes!! that one during first year college. :)
[x] I have almost drowned. ~> sheesh.
[x] I have been so embarrassed I wanted to disappear. ~> a lot of times.
Total = 4

[x] I have listened to one cd over & over & over again. ~> it was the "the

corrs" cd that my sis has. :)
[x] I have had stitches. ~> yup. happened on the night of december 2, 2005 at 10:15pm... appendectomy. i wish they'd given me back my appendix but they didn't.
[x] I have been on the honor roll. ~> preschool/grade 1. that counts, right?
[ ] I have had frostbite.
total = 3

[ ] I have licked a frozen pole and got stuck there
[x] I have stayed up til 2 doing homework/projects.
[ ] I currently have a job.
[x] I have been ice skating. ~> a few times. frustration ko maging figure ice skater. have watched "ice princess" for n times already. huhu. but i still don't know how to ice skate. pathetic.
[ ] I have been rollerblading. ~> parents would never let me.
[x] I have fallen flat on my face. ~> and i've got a picture to prove it. embarrassing. my nose got scraped. that was way back in grade 2.
Total = 3

[x] I have tripped over my own two feet. ~> yup! am such a klutz.
[x] I have been in a fist fight. ~> with my sister. back in pre-school/grade-school. we fought every single day.
[x] I have played videogames for more than 3 hours straight. ~> virtuacop in pc counts, right? and diablo?
[ ] I have passed out from being drunk.
[x] I have watched power rangers. ~> haha. hahahahahahahaha.
total = 4

[ ] I do attend Church regularly.
[x] I have played truth or dare.
[x] I have already had my 16th birthday.
[x] I have already had my 17th birthday.
[ ] I've lost weight since one year ago.
Total = 3

[x] I've called someone stupid. And meant it.
[x] I've been in a verbal argument.
[x] I've cried in school.
[x] I've played basketball on a team. ~> for P.E. high school and college.
Total = 4

[x] I've played baseball on a team.
[ ] I've played football on a team.
[ ] I've played soccer on a team.
[ ] I've done cheerleading on a team.
[x] I've played softball on a team. ~> P.E.
[x] I've played volleyball on a team. ~> i used to love this sport. i don't

get to play na.
[ ] I've played tennis on a team.
[ ] I've been on a swim team.
[ ] I've been on a golf team.
Total = 3

[x] I've been swimming more than 20 times in my life. ~> haha. P.E. in seton.
[ ] I've bungee jumped.
[x] I've climbed a rock wall. ~> yup! i loved it! i did it after 2 hours of P.E. i didn't get to reach the top, but i did scale 90% up the wall. and i did it twice on that first time! am so happy!
[ ] I've lost more than $20.
[x] I've called myself an idiot.
[x] I've called someone else an idiot.
[x] I've cried myself to sleep.
[x] I've had (or have) pets.
Total = 6

[ ] I've owned a spice girls cd.
[x] I've owned a britney spears cd. ~> well, actually, it's a tape. and it's my sister's. but hey, i still listened to it. haha.
[ ] I've owned an N*Sync cd.
[ ] I've owned a backstreet boys cd.
Total = 1

[ ] I've mooned someone.
[ ] I've sworn at someone in authority.
[ ] I've been in the newspaper.
[ ] I've been on TV.
Total = 0

[ ] I've been to Hawaii.
[x] I've eaten sushi.
[ ] I've been on the other side of a waterfall. ~> i want to!!!
[ ] I've watched all of the Lord of the Rings movies. ~> i want to.
[x] I've watched all of the Harry Potter movies.
Total = 2

[ ] I've watched all of the Rocky movies.
[ ] I've watched the 3 stooges.
[ ] I've watched "Newlyweds" Nick & Jessica.
[x] I've watched Looney Tunes.
[ ] I've been stuffed into a locker.
Total = 1

[ ] I've been called a geek.
[ ] I've studied hard for a test and got a bad grade.
[x] I've not studied at all for a test and aced it.
Total = 1

[ ] I've hugged my mom within the past 24 hrs.
[x] I've met a celebrity/music artist.
[x] I've written poetry. ~> i think so...
[ ] I've been arrested.
Total = 2

[x] I've been attracted to someone much older than me. ~> crush? yes.
[ ] I've been tickled till I've cried.
[ ] I've tickled someone else until they cried.
[x] I've had/have siblings.
[ ] I've been to a rock concert.
Total = 2

[x] I've listened to classical music and enjoyed it. ~> hamster experiment! haha. for experimental psych last last sem!
[x] I've been in a play. ~> i miss being in a play...
[ ] I've been picked last in gym class.
[ ] I've been picked first in gym class.
[ ] I've been picked in that middle-range in gym class.
Total = 2